Friday, January 27, 2006

You're not pretty enough. You're not skinny enough. You're not healthy enough.

1. Ha, did anyone see that at a Sundance screening for his new satirical comedy, Thank You for Smoking, director Jason Reitman(yeah, son of Ivan) was rather upset when he and the rest of his cast and crew discovered that a 12-second scene of a hookup between Katie Holmes' character and co-star, Aaron Eckhart had vanished. Poof, apparently into thin air. Well, before we point fingers at Tom Cruise and Grand Wizard of the Scientology cult, John Travolta, who've been known to weild their power around Hollywood. I mean, we did see him cast his spell on Oprah, right! Reitman told the NY Times that the scene was accidentally cut when two reels were spliced together in Los Angeles as filmmakers prepared a print for Smoking's four festival screenings.

2. Um. Why is Jamie Foxx getting his own TV special? I mean, we all know Jamie Foxx as a man of many talents. A comedian, a, ahem, dramatic actor, singer, Wanda on In Living Color and damn, I think he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night ... The other night, the Oscar and Golden Globe winner gave NBC his first-ever musical special, showcasing songs from his top-selling album "Unpredictable" as well as performances with guests like Snoop Dogg and Mary J. I'm betting, Jesus, sorry, I mean Kanye showed up too.

3. So, Kobe lighting up the Toronto Raptors on Sunday in the Lakers' 122-104 come-from-behind win in L.A. is sorta old news by now. But how about this for interesting stats. He scored 1.9 points per minute, since Kobe actually sat six minutes at the end of the game. He took 66 shots! 66!!! I'm betting there were seasons, that Manute Bol didn't get that many shots. 46 field goal attempts( 28 made) and 20 free throw attempts(18 made). Man, it's like that scene in Bad News Bears when all the other kids just sit down, and give the ball to Kelly. Bill Simmons wrote a funny article about it on ESPN, which included this line, "The best reaction belonged to Jackson, who seemed amused, supportive and somewhat horrified, like how Halle Berry's husband probably looked after sitting through his first screening of "Monster's Ball." You can read the rest of his article here

4. While we're on the subject of the NBA. How about that Ron Artest deal. Holy snikes! Peja Stojakovic goes to the Pacers, and after unwillingly accepting the deal sending him to Sacramento, Artest packs his bags. While Artest is immensely talented ball player on the court, it's his antics off the court that have made him the most legendary bad-boy since Dennis Rodman. The Pacers get a good player in Stojankovic, despite being bothered by a sprained finger, a strained groin muscle and a protruding disc in his lower back which hinders his running, jumping and shooting. But man, what a trade. That's like sending away happy go lucky Heidi Klum with her cute accent and getting volatile Naomi Campbell post Wardrobe Malfunction in return.

5. So I really think everyone needs to hear this Clearlake album. I know I talked about it at the end of last year. But man. I cannot stop listening to this thing. A highly anticipated follow up to 2003's Cedars, Amber is both beguiling and adventurous. Filled with wonderfully crafted melodies, dense textures and haunting crescendos, they've made their finest work yet. The distorted guitars and driving drum beat that introduces album opener No Kind of Life only leads to the wonderfully layered vocals and the band's more muscular sound, citing, Queens of the Stone Age, Neil Young and My Bloody Valentine as being an influence on this recording. Jason Pegg's haunting vocals have never sounded more melancholic than on the tearjerker, Dreamt that You Died. "Neon" is a bluesy number complete with some harmonica licks, Finally Free is arguably the catchiest song they've ever written and album closer Widescreen, places perfect punctation on Amber, with its powerful guitar riffs.

6. I think we all knew Germans were really stange people. But this video just shows how fucked they are. Watch it, and be prepared to laugh and be shocked in amazement. Hasselhoff Wow...Um... So, my thought is. Who thought of this. Did Hasselhoff just get really fucked up one night on pain killers and he's like, "Can you guys make me fly. I want to fly! And I want two of me!" Whoa!

7. Broken Social Scene at Webster Hall last night. The show was fantastic. There were never less than 7 people on stage, and most of the time there were 12 or 13 on stage, topping out at around 16 or 17. They played a ton of the new record, despite only being lucky enough to have Emily Haines in the house to do the female vocal parts. Feist's parts were done by another back up singer. The band sounded great. Really full and lush. Fuzzy guitar squals coming from every angle, mulitple percussionists. A guest horns section. The Canadian collective makes anthemic indie rock and their live show is a party on stage, with new visitors popping in left and right for a chat.

Listening Pile
I've been listening to this Nine Black Alps Everything Is album, a bit lately. I saw them put on a fantastic show at the Mercury Lounge last week. The Manchester quartet makes a loud and deafening raucous. Everything Is' is a frenzy filled 30 minute blast with unabashed energy, but hugely influenced by growing up in the urban sprawl of Manchester. First time I heard this album, I instantly thought of grunge acts of the mid-nineties. And I guess there's a sort of new grunge movement out there, not only in the UK, but the US as well. Until they learn to absorb their influences and transcend it into their own identifiable sound, all this hype and intensity might go for naught. A good start, but I need a little more. And if get a chance check out their video for Shotdown . They are about to embark on a tour with Cribs and Giant Drag and they are scheduled to play Coachella as well.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Dream Of A Millions Girls, That Are More Than Pretty, Can Come True In Atlantic City

Seven Things I Think I Think

1. Beck's new video for Hell Yes directed by Garth Jennings, stars four Sony QRIO robots busting their um... robot dance moves. I dunno if anyone has seen these, or if they are available in US stores. But I need to have one of these. To go along with my iDog. This could also be the funniest video, without trying to be funny, I have seen in some time.

2. Oh man, those adds on VH1, touting the preparations for the Super Bowl Half Time show. Wow! The fact they got, future Hall Of Famer and funny man, defensive lineman from the Giants, Michael Strahan to do the commercial is amazing and well deserving. But this lineup, wow! Goo Goo Dolls, Nickelback and Train for the half time show. Seriously, who do they think is watching this half time show, gay football fans in the middle of Canada. Jeez, all they are missing is Nick Lachey, and Jack from Will and Grace, to turn it into Brokeback Mountain 2.

3. While we're at it, I came across this, Vh-1 show One Hit Wonders: Hip Hop Nation Episode. Well, we know where Young MC and Biz Markie were, sitting at Denny's getting fat, subsequently ending up on Celebrity Fit Club. Vanilla Ice, well, he was getting angry on the Surreal Life. Hmmmm, I sense conspiracy here. What's next, Kris Kross get their own TV show, with Sir Mix A Lot as a sidekick, and they attempt to resurrect, not only their careers, but Big Pun from the afterlife, only to underminded by Bushwick Bill, and his midget cohort, Vern Troyer. Hmmmm, I smell an Emmy and a spin-off.

4.Did anyone see, they have changed the Miss America pageant? Well, first of all, it used to be held Labor Day Weekend and it's being held outside Atlantic City, N.J., for the first time in its 85-year-history. Vegas baby! Vegas! It's also the first time since Miss America began being televised in 1954 that the crowning won't be carried by a major TV network, but rather, CMT. Yes, that CMT, the Country Music Television Network. Also, Bert Parks, the original host of the Miss America telecast, served in that role for 25 years, well, I think he's dead. And, I guess Regis, well, isn't he dead too? I dunno, I saw Jeff Gordon on the show the other day. So anyhow, the plumber guy from Desperate Housewives is hosting. And, Jerry Rice, is a judge. Man, he's making the rounds like Kato Kaelin. Also, whomever doesn't win, gets shipped off the Island. Oh, wait. Wrong show. There are some funky new twists and turns though.

5. I guess by now, we've all seen Isaac Mizrahi cop a feel of Scarlett Johanson's boob.
Now, not only did he do that, but he looked down Teri Hatcher's dress, asked Eva Longoria about her pubic hair, for god knows what reason, asked Queen Latifah about her panties, and otherwise caught celebrities off-guard. And this guys is gay? I'll tell ya this, he's either got some big cohones, or was on some serious happy pills that night.

6. Did anyone notice, that Mike Vanderjagt(aka the Idiot Kicker) made the field goal during his guest visit on Late Night With David Letterman, the other night. In case you missed it, Vanderjagt pushed a 46-yard field-goal attempt wide right Sunday, allowing the Pittsburgh Steelers to escape an embarrassing collapse in the AFC playoffs. Man, that interview portion was rough though. Dave, really dug into Vanderjagt about missing the field goal, and the kid looked like he was about to sob at any momment. Anyhow, my point, it really did take some big cohones on his part to even go on the show.


7. After a few months of negotiations and bad press, the US government is finally allowing Cuba to play in the World Baseball Classic . MLB's initial application was shot down last month by the Treasury Department's Office of Foreign Assets Control, but the commissioner's office and the players' association reapplied Dec. 22 after Cuba said it would donate profits it receives to Hurricane Katrina victims. Apparently there are some sanctions in place that will not allow Cuba to receive US currency. This might be the best part, "The president wanted to see it resolved in a positive way," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said in an e-mail to The Associated Press. "Our concerns were centered on making sure that no money was going to the Castro regime and that the World Baseball Classic would not be misused by the regime for spying. We believe the concerns have been addressed." Spying. Ha! For who, the Russians. What is Cuba gonna do, see that we have more money and be shocked. Have baseball players go into Starbucks and see what a Mocha Latte is? Anyhow, the real resolution came when the International Olympic Committee said it would ban the US from hosting another olympic games, the US caved.

25 days until Pitchers and Catchers report.

Listening Pile
I was just listening to Pinback's Summer In Abaddon. The San Diego band has released three fantastic albums and a few ep's. The most recent of their releases, Summer In Abaddon, released on Touch & Go in 2004, finds the band melding sensational melodies with a intricate arrangements, flourishes of electric piano, moddy guitars and dense bass lines. Shout and response vocals, tell tales of barrooms, love lost, and well, Summer's in Abaddon. Not quite as poppy or immediate as their previous works, this records basks in it's subtle beauty and delicate arrangements. And you need to check out their amazing video for Fortress . Really cool animated video.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Well, good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, and if you can't make it here, welcome to the club.

For what's another nail in the coffin of traditional photography, Nikon , the Japanese camera maker, plans on stop selling most of its film models in favor of digital cameras. Nikon said it will end production of all but two of its eight single-lens reflex models and axe all of its non-digital compacts, signalling the end of its more than 50 year history of selling film cameras. Wow, that is crazy. This is all coming on the heels of this article about a study in England, how internet downloading and MP3 players are creating a generation of people who do not seriously appreciate songs or musical performances. Will CD's and records suffer the same fate someday?

Did anyone out there see Robots . It was made by the same folks that made Ice Age, which i thought was a funny movie. Though I do love Ray Romano more than I need too. Anyhow, Robots, was a really sweet family type movie, with great digital animation. But there were some weird adult themed jokes in the movie. At least a few homoerotic jokes mostly coming from the Robin Williams voiced Fender character , and the one about big men, liking big butts by the Mel Brooks voiced, Bigweld. More and more, you start seeing and hearing things like that in kid's movies these days. I was also taken back by the ensemble cast of voices. They had everyone in there from Ewan McGregor, Paula Abdul to Al Roker. I guess start jump at the chance to redeem themselves and have something that their children can watch.

While we're at it, last night I saw this crazy commercial for the new Mountain Dew energy drink, MDX, with all these animals, like owls, snakes, possums, and more under nightvision light. Kinda funny, but a little freaky. Anyhow, it made me think of that crazy Aphex Twin video video for Rubber Johnny. That on the other hand, is very disturbing. It's some sick shit. Another great video I've seen lately, is this Gravenhurst video for their awesome song Velvet Cell. Man, what a shame MTV doesn't play videos anymore. There are so many really wonderful ones out there.

Randi Rhodes , on Air America Radio, is the most annoying and opinionated woman I have ever heard. For God knows what reason, I was subjected to about 35 minutes of her show today, where she went off on the Alito hearing, as well as modestly saying she's right about everything, ever!!! Someone needs to give this woman the back of their hand, and then a swift kick to the mouth.

Listening Pile
I 've been listening to the UK's Editors over the last few weeks. The album came out to huge accolades in the UK, going gold and spawning a few hit singles. Editors are enamored with the same bands as many of their contemporaries, but I feel they breathe a bit of life into their songs. Singer, Tom Smith, reminds me a bit of Interpol’s Paul Banks, with a bit more reservation. The music is a bit more dynamic, with shimmering, reverb laden guitars, but at times also cutting quickly, angular. The rhythm section of the band drives many of their songs, with subtle punctuation. The record starts off with three of their most instantly catchy and direct songs. Including current single, Munich, with it’s shining guitars, dancey beat, rolling bass line and heartfelt vocals. Then they really get to the heart of things. They bring it down a notch, and get a little more despondent and fragile. The beauty of this record reveals itself slowly with unabashed sincerity. Songs like All Sparks, Bullets, Camera, really shine with their echoing guitars and sincere apologies. About to embark on their first US tour this weekend, they kick it off in San Diego, hitting NYC next weekend.

While we're at it, I got a sneak peak at the new TV On The Radio. Damn, are you all in store for some good shit. Sounds a little more produced and fleshed out than the last one Also, feels a little darker at times. And there are some hits, some really memorable tracks.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I don't fucking belong here! Why don't you just put a gun to my head and shoot me! You've already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too

Seven Things I Think I Think

1. The Giants really, really stunk it up this past weekend. It's like that Space Jam movie, where all the player's ability was stolen by aliens to play against the Loony Tunes for their world. I mean, the Giants didn't show up. Besides the embarrassing loss, Tiki went TO on the coaching staff, saying they got outcoached. Yikes. Mike Lupica, wrote a good strory about the whole thing, here. To makes things worst, there was this one preview for the Fox sports show Sunday night, where they had a young girls say, the Giants put the P in Pathetic. Ouch, rough.

2. The other day, I watched a repeat of a Saturday Night Live episode with Eva Longoria and musical guests, KORN. Now, my problem doesn't sit with the lovely, yet not funny, Longoria. It sits with KORN. I mean, beyond the fact that they all look like rejects from the Surreal Life, could they be any worst live. Obviously, their relevance to popular music has dissipated, much like Jonathan Davis' hairline, but could you get a band, that's any worse to watch live on TV. Damn, why didn't they just get Limp Bizkit on stage and retell the story of 1999. I mean, KORN covered Cameo's Word Up. Seriously, get some good bands on SNL, bands whose hey day wasn't in the last century. I'd love to see a band like Wilco, Interpol, Bloc Party or the Shins on there.

3. The whole premise for this TV show, Beauty and the Geek 2 just seems wrong. But damn, does that look like it could be pretty damn funny. What would make it an even funnier show would be celebrities(or semi- Celebs) on the show. I mean, come on, they are everywhere already. Wouldn't it be amazing to see Balki hitting on Giselle, or Seth Green on Tyra Banks. And while we're at it. The new Celebrity fit club. What is up with the guy from Taxi. Dude needs rehab, not fat farm. Also, why are half the contestants, really not that fat, just seriously out of shape. But lets give it up for Young MC. My man, is hella fat, and not so young anymore!

4. Howard Stern finally made his Satellite Radio debut. Amidst rumors of a secret marriage to girlfriend Beth Ostrosky, he went commercial free and couldn't control himself from cursing, though he managed to do it for 20 some odd years on terrestrial radio. Also, what the hell is up with the Black Panther rip off, the "defiant fist."
The logo shows a black fist with the ring and middle fingers forming an "H" for "Howard" against a red background. Does Howard really think he's fighting the good war. I'm a little confused by his whole decision to move to Satellite Radio, and give up his fight against the FCC. I also wonder if everyone that works at Sirius gets a few extra pennies in their check, every time they mention Howard's name on the other stations..

5. Apple Computer Tuesday introduced new Intel-powered desktop and notebook. with the entire Macintosh line moving to Intel chips this year. Yay! So now all Macs purchased before this year will be obsolete faster than they usually are. Steve Jobs, I blame this on you.

6. Oh Marcus Vick, how entertaining you are. Not quite as entertaining as your brother, Ron Mexico, uh... I mean, Michael, but close. Well, the former Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus, who was booted from the team last week for his behavior on and off the field, was charged Monday with pulling a gun on three teenagers during an altercation in a restaurant parking lot. So, lets see over the last few weeks, he received a speeding ticket and a ticket for driving on a suspended license, while under a "zero tolerance" policy from Virginia Tech, was caught on tape stomping on the left calf of Louisville All-American Elvis Dumervil during the Gator Bowl, got kicked off the team, Saturday, announced he had decided to turn pro and Sunday, manages to get arrested. I'm thinking the Vick's should be nominated for parents of the year, those two kids of theirs, could make any parents proud.

7. Yes! After, what seems like months of waiting, Lost is finally back tonight. I think many will agree, we could use less Ana-Lucia in our life. By the way, did anyone see how both she, Michelle Rodriguez, and Cynthia Watros, who plays the Libby, were busted for drunken driving within 15 minutes of each other. Man, that must have been a crazy party. And apparently, Rodriguez, has a history of bad driving, you can check that out here Tonight on the show, the Hobbit, gets the smackdown on the Virgin Mary statue he's been carrying around. I think many of us agree, we would like to give him the smackdown, as he's one of the most annoying TV characters since, Grace, on Will and Grace.

Listening Pile
I was just listening to Will Haven's El Diablo. The Sacramento band released three fantastic albums on hardcore label, Revelation Records. Dense, aggressive, with monstrous angular riffs, and singer Grady Avenell's desperate growls, this band made great music, that was a bit ahead of their time. They were fantastic live, sludging through songs about despair, addiction, love and death. They even got on the cover of Kerrang! Just when they seemed at their height of creativity and praise, singer Avenell left not long after the release of their last disc, Carpe Diem. They released a DVD called Foreign Films, featuring their last ever show and a wealth of footage from the last tour. The remaining members of the band went on to form Ghostride. However, at the tail end of last year, the original lineup (guitarist Jeff Irwin, bassist Mike Martin, drummer Mitch Wheeler and vocalist Grady Avenell, plus touring guitarist Cayle Hunter) began writing new material and set to record a brand new album in the Spring. Without even releasing any new material the band finds themselves with tour dates in Australia in the Spring of 2006 and plans are in the works to go out with hometown friends the Deftones in the summer of 2006.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap.

Seven Things I Think I Think

1. OK, lets get this straight, there is nothing wrong with "Happy Holidays!" Get over it! The term, "Happy Holidays" applies to all, even those celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Christmas, Festivus, whatever. Even if it just applies to Christmas and New Year's, that's ok, it's plural, and it justifies "Holidays?" And this whole crap about renaming a Christmas tree a "Holiday" tree is retarded. What are we going to do, ask Jews to not say Menorah, but rather, holiday candles. No. It's lame. I thought in this country we had the freedom to expess ourselves through speech and religion. I think people need to seriously consider spending their time battling other injustices and issues, like global warming, poverty, Stephen A. Smith, or the war in Iraq. If you want, you can check out Letterman and Bill O'Reilly go at it about the subject here, or just to watch O'Reilly get his ass handed to him by Dave.

2. Wow, what was up with Dick Clark on New Years? That was just tragic. He couldn't move his right arm and man, did he sound scary. Did Mariah Carey suffer from a stroke too? Or is she just that weird and/or high now? Man she seemed like she was out of it. I know she wasn't wearing a jacket for um... entertainment purposes, but she needs to start covering up that large ass, and settle down on the happy pills. And don't get me started on Ryan Seacrest.

3. I know, we're all saddened by the news that Donald Trump won't be running for Governor of NY State. You can read more about that here, if you care. So if the Donald doesn't run, how about someone like Howard Stern(wouldn't you love to hear his policy on Gay Marriage), Moby(now that Teany is closing, he's got more time on his hands), Kim Cattrall(I mean, has she done anything since Sex In The City went off air, besides write a book about sex with her husband, then dump said husband), or how about Bill Clinton(just to see how much trouble Slick Willy could get into). I dunno, just throwing out some names. I'm thinking that anyone running can't be that great. The Governor race is lining up to look like a Rutgers/Arizona State bowl game. Pointless, except to only those involved and the sad suckers sent to cover it.

4. So, finally we know what's wrong with Lindsay Lohan. Well, at least it's finally confirmed, that she's a coke head and bullimic. Though I'm thinking we need to cut her some slack. Wouldn't you be disgusted at yourself for having sex with Wilder Valderrama. I know that would make me want to go on a coke binge and make myself throwup. Shit, she's lucky she didn't blow her brains out.


5. Researchers discovered the largest prime number recently. A prime number is a positive number divisible by only itself and 1 -- 2, 3, 5, 7, etc... The number that the team found is 9.1 million digits long. It is a Mersenne prime known as M30402457; that's 2 to the 30,402,457th power minus 1. My thinking is, these are the only guys getting laid less than Rivers Cuomo. But who knows, maybe there are some math club fabulous groupies or something.

6. So, only two days after Jets coach, Herman Edwards said he planned to return to the Jets for a sixth season, it appears he's flying the coop to join the Kansas City Chiefs as their head coach. The speculation only grew when retiring KC coach, Dick Vermeil publicly praised Edwards late in the season, though, we can't be completely certain, it was hard to make out what he was saying through his uncontrolable sobbing. The Jets and the Kansas City Chiefs have apparently begun, discussing compensation packages giving the Jets draft picks in return for letting Edwards out of his deal. That's a damn fine coach, and a good person the Jets are letting go. I would hope they get a top draft pick and some other top picks for him.

7. So that no talent assclown, Fred Savage is back. Of course, he's best known for playing Kevin Arnold, on the ABC series The Wonder Years. Well, like a bad case of the herpes, he's back. He's set to star in a new sit-com, Crumbs, about a dysfunctional family. I'm hoping this has the same fate as his last sitcom endeavor, Working, which was cancelled after two lack-luster years.

Listening Pile
I've been listening to the Rakes EP a bit lately. The London quartet, has toured heavily in Europe over the last year, most recently with Franz Ferdinand. The hype in the UK had been huge on them, even doing an MTV2 tour. Often sounding less polished and hard charging, then their UK contemporaries, their angular guitar lines, danceable rhythms, and surly vocals, spewing out tales of middle-class boredum, are a real treat. Their debut album Capture/Release came out in the UK in August, and should be out in the US sometime this Spring.

Also, if you're so inclined to, you can check out a my iMix for the top releases of 2005 here. For some damn reason, I can't explain, nor can I find any info on the iTunes site, they cut off five of my top 35 releases. Kanye, Idlewild, Faunts, the Evens and Giant Drag, were all cut out of the list, though are each available on iTunes. Steve Jobs, I blame this on you.